I’d like to tell you about an act of self-care I once performed, involving something you wouldn’t expect…Furbies!
I know, crazy right?
How it started…
We inherited these 13 Furbies in a load of children’s toys from my mother-in-law. It was currently “Spooky Season” and when I saw them I thought to myself, “How creepy…let’s have some Halloween fun!”
I hid all 13 inside the house for my step-daughter to find. I didn’t tell her I had done this. She is a very observant girl and I knew she would start to notice them around the house…staring at her with those penetrating eyes! I wasn’t wrong. She noticed the first few within hours of getting home. The next morning she started to question me about the Furbies. I didn’t really have a back story prepared so I started to make up some tall tale on the spot about how they got there and what would happen if she didn’t find all 13 before midnight on October 31st. She, of course, played along and helped me to fill in the holes of my back story. In fact, at one point I left the room and when I came back, she had drawn a pentagram and started to arrange them in a circle. …I still need to ask her how she knows what a pentagram is by the way…
We had a lot of fun that morning, creating their origin story and mission statement before and during our car ride to school. It’s a memory I hope she remembers into adulthood. By the way, this has begun an annual spooky season tradition that we love!
How this relates to self-care…
At first glance, you may think this is just a cute story about how I had some fun with one of my kids. At the time I hadn’t really looked at it as anything other than having a little bit of fun but playing can actually be an important form of self-care, and a great way to strengthen our connection to those we love.
Now, playing doesn’t have to only be about playing with our kids. It is extended to games or activities that adults enjoy too, such as playing a sport, creating some artwork, going dancing, or playing a party game.
Playing is an important form of self-care for adults as well as children because it allows us to foster creativity, reduce stress, and enhance their overall well-being. It allows us to tap into an innate sense of joy which promotes relaxation. Finally, it provides a much needed break from the pressures and stresses of daily life.
An added benefit? Playing with our loved ones helps to strengthen our social connection to them. For some, it can even be considered an important way they wish to receive love (think quality time – one of Dr. Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages).
What is self care and why is it important?…
Self-care is not just about getting massages and taking bubble baths, or a “Treat Yoself Day” on Parks and Rec, though these activities can certainly be considered a form of self-care. Self-care is defined as the DAILY process of attending to your basic physical, emotional, spiritual and relationship needs. This includes structuring your daily routine, relationships, and environment, as needed to promote self-care to ensure you actually get around to doing it.
I want you to think of a battery when you think about self-care. Doing regular self-care activities prevents your battery from draining down to nothing. The more your battery is drained, the more self-care activities you should be doing to recharge your battery back up to full. You see, just like batteries don’t work when they’re drained, people won’t work either. A lack of self care can result in burnout, anxiety, and/or depression. And your connections with the people you love will suffer.
How self-care impacts your relationships…
BUT, let me tell you my friend, if you show up to your relationships with a full battery, they WILL FLOURISH! I’ll use my changing relationship with my step-daughter as an example. When I first met her, I was a lot of fun. My stress hadn’t yet stacked up to the point I struggled to cope which allowed me to have more energy, and I was able to do a lot of fun things with her. Flash forward a few years later, my lack of self-care and unhealthy coping finally caught up with me… and I was no longer fun Erin. In fact, I spent most evenings after work sitting on the couch in front of the tv like a zombie or doom scrolling Tiktok videos for an hour…or more. I stopped playing games, planning crafts, and doing baking projects with her. I was in a bad spot and I knew something needed to change.
Unfortunately I didn’t always have this knowledge about self-care and healthy coping strategies. I had thought self-care was something you did to recharge once you were feeling drained…thankfully I’ve since learned the truth…that it’s supposed to be done proactively, not reactively.
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It took a lot of work to learn how to enforce healthy boundaries and prioritize myself, but I finally made self-care a priority. And I began to play again! My step-daughter even told me one day, “You know Erin, you’re a lot more fun these days…”
My life is, as I’m sure yours is, jam packed with things I “have to” or “should” do. And there are periods of time where I do still “fall off the wagon” and prioritize my “have to’s” and “shoulds” over my self-care. But I’m always reminded when I begin to feel drained why it’s important to recommit to letting go of my “have to’s” and stop “should-ing” myself to make time for self-care. If I don’t, my mental health, overall wellbeing, and my relationships suffer.
If prioritizing self-care, enforcing boundaries, and healthy coping is something you’d like to work on, let’s connect! Book a complimentary 30 minute call to discuss your goals!
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